I was about a week late because apparently everyone in New England is contractually obligated to spend Memorial Day Weekend on a boat. But better late than never. I finally kicked off my summer the way I’ve been talking about for months.

For those who know me, you’ve probably heard me say all spring that this was going to be the summer of boats. I wanted to spend as much time on the water as possible.

There was just one small issue.

I didn’t know anyone with a boat.

Then I started dating my girlfriend and discovered her stepdad has an entire lake house. Just like that, my summer plans went from “wishful thinking” to “what time are we leaving?”

So we headed up to the lake for a day on the water.

Everything was going great until I realized my girlfriend was driving the boat. Now, this is the same woman who asks me to kill spiders.

So naturally, when she took the wheel, I immediately started calculating how fast I could swim back to shore if things went sideways. As it turns out, I had absolutely nothing to worry about. She handled the boat like a pro while I sat there looking ridiculous for doubting her in the first place.

After a full day of sunshine, cruising around the lake, and not sinking, I came to a pretty important realization. I wasn’t depressed. I was just severely deficient in shirtless boat time in 80-degree weather.

Now I just need to make sure my girlfriend never reads the part where I admitted she was a better captain than I expected.

Also might have taken a killer nap in between the action